Publication Date 3/06/2025
Why Standard Boundary-Setting Advice Doesn’t Work
One of the main reasons experts and workplace professionals emphasize "just set clear boundaries" and "call out the behavior" is because they treat bullying as an interpersonal issue rather than a complex, systemic problem within organizations. This oversimplified view ignores the fact that workplace bullying is often deeply embedded in company culture, power dynamics, and even leadership structures.
A lot of the generic advice about "setting boundaries" doesn’t reflect how workplace dynamics actually work. Telling a bully, “I expect professional and respectful communication” isn’t just unrealistic—it’s practically an invitation for them to mock you. And calling out their behavior in a confrontational way (“You are constantly interrupting me, and I think that’s unprofessional”) just gives them more fuel to escalate things.
The key isn’t just setting boundaries—it’s about how you communicate them in a way that minimizes retaliation while still asserting yourself. What actually works is a strategic approach that keeps your authority intact, prevents the bully from getting defensive, and makes it harder for them to justify their behavior.
A common piece of workplace advice is: “Just set clear boundaries.” Experts often suggest saying things like, “I expect professional and respectful communication.” But let’s be real—no one talks like that at work, and bullies certainly don’t respect it. If anything, saying this just gives them more reason to mock you.
Another common recommendation is to “call out the behavior.” The problem? Bullies don’t care if you call them out, and doing it the wrong way can backfire. Compare these two examples:
❌ Ineffective approach: “Bob, you are constantly interrupting me, and I think that’s unprofessional.” (Sounds accusatory, invites defensiveness, and fuels the bully.)
✅ Strategic approach: “Bob, I appreciate your enthusiasm about this project. However, each time you interrupt my presentation, it slows the entire team down.” (Frames the issue around team productivity rather than personal criticism.)
How Workplace Bullies Operate
Bullies do not respect boundaries, and they push boundaries on purpose. They test what they can get away with, manipulate social dynamics, and thrive on reactions. If a response makes them feel powerful, they’ll keep going. That’s why setting boundaries isn’t just about you. It’s not about what you say—it’s about how you say it and how you connect it to the team and organizational functioning. The key is to avoid making it about the bully and instead frame it as an issue that affects everyone.
What Actually Works: Smart Boundary-Setting Strategies
1️⃣ Frame Boundaries Around the Work, Not the Bully
Instead of making it personal, tie the issue to productivity, efficiency, or team dynamics. Example:➝ “When side conversations happen during meetings, it makes it harder to stay on track. Let’s make sure we all get a chance to focus.”
2️⃣ Use Neutral, Fact-Based Language
Bullies look for emotional reactions. Keep your tone calm and factual to make it harder for them to push back. Example:➝ “I need to finish my point before we move on, then I’d love to hear your thoughts.”
3️⃣ Redirect Instead of Confronting
Instead of outright calling out bad behavior, shift the focus back to the task at hand. Example:
➝ “Let’s stick to the agenda so we can cover everything on time.”
4️⃣ Hold Your Ground Without Over-Explaining
Bullies love to challenge and wear people down. Say what you need to say, then stop talking. Example:
➝ “I won’t be able to take on extra tasks this week.” (No need to justify or apologize.)
5️⃣ Reinforce the Connection to the Team and Organization
When setting boundaries, emphasize how the behavior impacts workplace efficiency, morale, or collaboration. Example:➝ “We all contribute best when we have uninterrupted time to share our ideas. Let’s make sure everyone has that opportunity.”
Workplace bullying isn’t about a lack of boundaries—it’s about bullies who ignore them. The key is to set boundaries strategically, frame them around work rather than personal conflict, and enforce them in a way that connects to the larger team and organization. By using these tactics, you can maintain control while reducing the bully’s power over you.
This approach takes practice. It requires shifting the way we think about bullying—not as an individual conflict, but as a workplace issue that affects everyone. Learning to communicate boundaries in a way that emphasizes team success and organizational function makes it harder for bullies to dismiss or retaliate. Over time, refining these skills can help create a more professional and respectful work environment for everyone.
If you want more ideas like this, check out the Workplace Bullying Power Packs on stopbullyculture.com/shop.
Workplace bullying isn’t about a lack of boundaries—it’s about bullies who ignore them. The key is to set boundaries strategically, frame them around work rather than personal conflict, and enforce them in a way that connects to the larger team and organization. By using these tactics, you can maintain control while reducing the bully’s power over you.
This approach takes practice. It requires shifting the way we think about bullying—not as an individual conflict, but as a workplace issue that affects everyone. Learning to communicate boundaries in a way that emphasizes team success and organizational function makes it harder for bullies to dismiss or retaliate. Over time, refining these skills can help create a more professional and respectful work environment for everyone.
Workplace bullying isn’t about a lack of boundaries—it’s about bullies who ignore them. The key is to set boundaries strategically, frame them around work rather than personal conflict, and enforce them in a way that connects to the larger team and organization. By using these tactics, you can maintain control while reducing the bully’s power over you.
Why Standard Boundary-Setting Advice Doesn’t Work
One of the main reasons experts and workplace professionals emphasize "just set clear boundaries" and "call out the behavior" is because they treat bullying as an interpersonal issue rather than a complex, systemic problem within organizations. This oversimplified view ignores the fact that workplace bullying is often deeply embedded in company culture, power dynamics, and even leadership structures.
A lot of the generic advice about "setting boundaries" doesn’t reflect how workplace dynamics actually work. Telling a bully, “I expect professional and respectful communication” isn’t just unrealistic—it’s practically an invitation for them to mock you. And calling out their behavior in a confrontational way (“You are constantly interrupting me, and I think that’s unprofessional”) just gives them more fuel to escalate things.
The key isn’t just setting boundaries—it’s about how you communicate them in a way that minimizes retaliation while still asserting yourself. What actually works is a strategic approach that keeps your authority intact, prevents the bully from getting defensive, and makes it harder for them to justify their behavior.
A common piece of workplace advice is: “Just set clear boundaries.” Experts often suggest saying things like, “I expect professional and respectful communication.” But let’s be real—no one talks like that at work, and bullies certainly don’t respect it. If anything, saying this just gives them more reason to mock you.
Another common recommendation is to “call out the behavior.” The problem? Bullies don’t care if you call them out, and doing it the wrong way can backfire. Compare these two examples:
❌ Ineffective approach: “Bob, you are constantly interrupting me, and I think that’s unprofessional.” (Sounds accusatory, invites defensiveness, and fuels the bully.)
✅ Strategic approach: “Bob, I appreciate your enthusiasm about this project. However, each time you interrupt my presentation, it slows the entire team down.” (Frames the issue around team productivity rather than personal criticism.)
How Workplace Bullies Operate
Bullies do not respect boundaries, and they push boundaries on purpose. They test what they can get away with, manipulate social dynamics, and thrive on reactions. If a response makes them feel powerful, they’ll keep going. That’s why setting boundaries isn’t just about you. It’s not about what you say—it’s about how you say it and how you connect it to the team and organizational functioning. The key is to avoid making it about the bully and instead frame it as an issue that affects everyone.
What Actually Works: Smart Boundary-Setting Strategies
1️⃣ Frame Boundaries Around the Work, Not the Bully
Instead of making it personal, tie the issue to productivity, efficiency, or team dynamics. Example:➝ “When side conversations happen during meetings, it makes it harder to stay on track. Let’s make sure we all get a chance to focus.”
2️⃣ Use Neutral, Fact-Based Language
Bullies look for emotional reactions. Keep your tone calm and factual to make it harder for them to push back. Example:➝ “I need to finish my point before we move on, then I’d love to hear your thoughts.”
3️⃣ Redirect Instead of Confronting
Instead of outright calling out bad behavior, shift the focus back to the task at hand. Example:
➝ “Let’s stick to the agenda so we can cover everything on time.”
4️⃣ Hold Your Ground Without Over-Explaining
Bullies love to challenge and wear people down. Say what you need to say, then stop talking. Example:
➝ “I won’t be able to take on extra tasks this week.” (No need to justify or apologize.)
5️⃣ Reinforce the Connection to the Team and Organization
When setting boundaries, emphasize how the behavior impacts workplace efficiency, morale, or collaboration. Example:➝ “We all contribute best when we have uninterrupted time to share our ideas. Let’s make sure everyone has that opportunity.”
Workplace bullying isn’t about a lack of boundaries—it’s about bullies who ignore them. The key is to set boundaries strategically, frame them around work rather than personal conflict, and enforce them in a way that connects to the larger team and organization. By using these tactics, you can maintain control while reducing the bully’s power over you.
This approach takes practice. It requires shifting the way we think about bullying—not as an individual conflict, but as a workplace issue that affects everyone. Learning to communicate boundaries in a way that emphasizes team success and organizational function makes it harder for bullies to dismiss or retaliate. Over time, refining these skills can help create a more professional and respectful work environment for everyone.
If you want more ideas like this, check out the Workplace Bullying Power Packs on stopbullyculture.com/shop.
Workplace bullying isn’t about a lack of boundaries—it’s about bullies who ignore them. The key is to set boundaries strategically, frame them around work rather than personal conflict, and enforce them in a way that connects to the larger team and organization. By using these tactics, you can maintain control while reducing the bully’s power over you.
This approach takes practice. It requires shifting the way we think about bullying—not as an individual conflict, but as a workplace issue that affects everyone. Learning to communicate boundaries in a way that emphasizes team success and organizational function makes it harder for bullies to dismiss or retaliate. Over time, refining these skills can help create a more professional and respectful work environment for everyone.
Workplace bullying isn’t about a lack of boundaries—it’s about bullies who ignore them. The key is to set boundaries strategically, frame them around work rather than personal conflict, and enforce them in a way that connects to the larger team and organization. By using these tactics, you can maintain control while reducing the bully’s power over you.